So, it's been a while.

I'm not even sure I have a real coherent topic here! But I know some of you want to hear how school is going, so I shall tell.

I started classes at the end of August, and have been pretty busy since then. I have class four nights a week, two mornings a week, and one afternoon a week. Thankfully they do not seem to schedule classes on Fridays in graduate school here, so I get at least that little break. They are pretty fun classes--one of them we even have already started filming ourselves counseling our classmates in our clinical lab and then reflecting on how we did. The very hands on experience will certainly help us learn quickly.

The homework is for the most part manageable, though I have one class that I am continually anxious about. It's hard for me to relax when I know I have about four or five time consuming assignments coming up that I have no idea how to do. It is all very vague and sometimes hard to get concrete directions from professors, which is frustrating because we all want to do well and do more than what is asked of us, but if we cannot determine what is asked of us, it becomes difficult to do it.

I also have a lot of anxiety because I will have to take more than the allowed amount of credits in order to meet some requirements of me because I am not a licensed teacher. There's not much I can do about it now, but it is in the back burner of my mind.

I was discussing the other night with a good friend whether I had made the "right" decision in coming to this school. My friend suggested that perhaps I had simply made a good decision. That wording didn't feel right, and I knew that I have indeed made the "right" decision. Being here is something that I haven't doubted, and I feel peace at how God has opened the doors and allowed me to be here. I had no experience, not enough coursework in psychology, and somehow I made it into the program. Then I heard the news that I would be a graduate assistant, which pays for half of my tuition. I found a great place to live, and have been getting along great with my new friends and classmates.

The peace I feel here is the peace I talk about a lot. You can feel at peace with a situation or time in your life without superficially liking it on the outside. I have a bracelet my aunt gave me with the peace symbol on it. When I look at it, I don't think about peace with regard to politics, or war; I think of the peace I have being here. So as difficult as this semester is turning out to be, no matter how bad next semester is, I can get through it knowing that this is where God wants me to be.

On a side note, today is my grandparents birthday! They share the same birthday, and are turning 78 (Grandma Lou) and 85 (Harold) today. I wish them the happiest of birthdays, and look forward to seeing them soon!

Now, off to do that homework!

Little updates

So, I have to apologize for not writing much this summer. To be completely honest, I haven't really felt like it, or found anything really interesting to talk about. I want to post in the nature of the blog, and not so much about what's going on with my life, but I haven't really felt inspired.

However, here are some pictures from last weekend! We held a shower for Kate in Bemidji and it was a really fun time. Afterward, we took some family photos and visited my grandparents and other family members.

Mom, Kate, and Dad at the shower.

Mom decorating for the shower.

Grandpa and me

I am also done with my summer classes. It was a hard five weeks, and pretty intense, but overall it was a great learning experience. Now I just have to move this week and then fall classes start a week from tomorrow (yikes).

Well, off to read. It's like a mini-vacation this week!

Family

For those of you who were extremely concerned, yes I did find a place to live! It's about a 10 minute walk to the bus, and then 10 minutes on the bus to school, but I refuse to pay for a parking permit this time around. I will also have a really cool roommate who even has a cat!

Also, I had a wonderful chance to be at a family reunion this past weekend. Most of the relatives were my mom's cousins, and her aunts and uncles, but it was still an absolute blast!

For now, I must be off--homework, supper, or something of the sort calls. Kate is coming into town this weekend so we can throw her a bridal shower up in Bemidji, which should be fun. Hopefully I will be able to write more once my classes are done. It's been a little intense, to say the least.

Thanks for reading!

Um....shhhhhhhhhh...

I am supposed to be doing homework (by my own requirements, of course) but I am not.

So shhhhhhh. Instead I have the Dog Whisperer on.

Priorities, priorities.

It's what I like to call, "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Homework!"

Heck, it's summer!!

That's what I keep telling myself when I come on here and realize I haven't posted anything since June. Whoops.

The two weeks after I posted I was hanging out here at my new temporary home, taking care of some cute doggies, and doing homework all day every day. I drove up to St. Cloud one day to take a test on campus, and got lost naturally, but after subsequent trips, I now know my way around the school fairly well. I drove up last week on Wednesday to Bemidji, where I spent time with my family, and up at my grandparents sorting through photos for my sister's wedding. (I also smashed the screen on my phone--this is phone #4, for those of you keeping track. This time, however, it actually was MY fault, for once.)

I got back on Sunday night, and started my second class on Monday! I will have it four days a week for five weeks, and it's pretty overwhelming at the moment, but I think it will eventually calm down. There's a lot crammed into five weeks, and on top of my online class, it will definitely keep me busy, to say the least.

This weekend I plan on taking at least one day off of homework to go out on a lake, or the pool, or something. And yes, I am super psyched about Harry Potter 6 because I have not seen it yet!!!! I don't know how I can handle it. I'll probably go read it to satiate my HP hunger until I can go.

But right now, there's a snuggly little puppy sitting here next to me, and a comfy couch calling my name. Hopefully I won't be so long the next time! Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Peace,

J

Freedom

This picture (taken on the beach in Newport, Oregon) just encapsulates completely the feeling of peace I have this morning.

Today, I did not have to get up and be at work at 9 am.

Today, I do not have to be yelled at over and over by upset and irate customers.

Today, I am unemployed--and loving it!

I was discussing with one of my very best friends last night, this "in-limbo" state we recent college grads often find ourselves in. Our whole lives, we've gone to school, then to the next thing, and the next, and then we are graduating and BAM--what next? The real world, I know, but what does that mean?

There are so many options here in our country after graduating that we could choose to do, and as a result, I think we become a little afraid or nervous about committing to something. We feel pressure when someone asks us to commit, and want to be able to do anything, or quit what we are doing just in case "something better" comes along. I don't think this is the attitude God wants us to have. Yes, we should be ready and willing to do whatever he asks us, even if it means leaving our comfortable existence, but if we can't even commit to one small thing, how on earth will we be able to contemplate the eternal?

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about how I committed to this job for 2.5 years. I didn't particularly enjoy it. But I committed, and that is something I am proud of. I think God really used me while I was at the job--and made me realize that a job is not what defines us; it sometimes is simply means to an end. As American Christians, we tend to buy into the idea that a job is who you are, even as a Christian, because it is the American ideal ingrained in us since childhood. However, what I did outside of that job was far more important than what I did while I was there. I learned and grew in ways that I would not have been willing to if I had all my focus on my job.

So, today is my first official day of freedom. I had a wonderful birthday weekend with good friends, and as of later tonight, I will be out of 410!

Right now, I will be doing homework.

How did this all happen?

MSP-PDX (and beyond)

I have returned! What a whirlwind (and I think it is still going). We left over a week ago for Portland, and I flew back this past Wednesday, and then spent the next two days hanging out with part of my family, packing, and finally, moving into my aunt's place today. I am tired, but I felt a second wind so I thought I'd try to post something.

The trip was so many things, but wonderful was definitely one of them. On our departure date, June 11, Lindsay, Serena, and myself crammed the car full and drove off to Sioux Falls to visit a friend from college, Ryan, who is in med school in South Dakota. His family warmly welcomed us, and he showed us the Sioux Falls sights. It was a really fun night!

Then we left early on Friday morning, drove across South Dakota, with an hour or so detour to see Mt. Rushmore, which I had never seen. It's interesting that the state had to create its own major attraction, instead of capitalizing on a natural one. The man who dreamed it up would be so amazed that it actually came to fruition.

Friday was a long day of driving through Wyoming and Montana mountains with the little Saturn. We got to Bozeman late Friday night, threw the tent together, and hunkered down for a few hours. Saturday, we drove through the rest of Montana, crossed Idaho (absolutely beautiful), through eastern Washington (not at all beautiful), and then drove into Oregon along the Columbia River (fantastic!). We arrived in Portland Saturday evening, and hung out there for dinner.

After hanging out in Portland on Sunday morning, we drove three more hours down to Newport, Oregon, to a friend of a friend's beach house with 17 others. There were two bedrooms, so a bunch of people set up tents in the yard, and we had a blast hanging out on the beach with a bonfire, drums, and hula hoops. I met so many interesting people! We drove back Monday night, went out for pizza and beer, and then walked around Portland some more to see the sights.

We woke up Tuesday, and went with some of Lindsay's new roommates again to Multnomah Falls and then to hike up a mountain, which ended up taking four hours, but was so cool. Oregon forests and mountains are abosutely beautiful, and I couldn't get enough of all the lush forest growth and multiple waterfalls. We headed back into Portland then, cooked dinner, went out for Belgian Fries, and by Wednesday morning, I was on my way back to Minneapolis.

There are so many pictures, so I've posted them in an album on Facebook which you can view (even if you don't have Facebook) by clicking here, if you'd like. I know I left a lot out on here--I tried to keep it short!

Tomorrow I am heading back to 410 to grab a few more things and tie up some loose ends, but I do hope to be relaxing a little bit. My sister Kate is in town as well, and we got to hang out with our mom on Thursday and Friday night, which was really fun (and funny). It seems like the summer is already flying by way too fast! And I am already behind on homework...whoops...

Thank you all for reading!

Peace,

J

Hit the road, Jack!

In a few short hours, I will be climbing into a very jam-packed Saturn and heading west! We are stopping tonight in Sioux Falls to visit a friend, will be driving past Mt. Rushmore (waving), and then camping Friday night in Bozeman, MT, at this campground. We'll hopefully get to Portland the next day! ETA: Sometime late Saturday night. Then onto the coast for a few days, and I'll be flying back on Wednesday.

I'll try to post some pictures eventually--when I get internet again.

Hurrah! Vacation, here I come :)

..and some celebrations!

On Monday, my younger brother Connor turned 16 years old! I cannot believe he is that old (and I know that is such an older sibling thing to say, but it's true!). I haven't lived at home in many years, though, so I guess it would makes sense.

At any rate, Happy Birthday, Fuzz! I hope it was a good one...and I'll be home again soon, so we can hang out and drive places together. Mario Party!


Also, today is my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. In that time, they've had three different homes, four dogs, five children, six cats, infinite laughter, sorrow, and I'm sure, many more things I can't even count.

I cannot even begin to imagine what an accomplishment that is--I realize more and more every day, looking around me, how difficult and trying marriage can often be (though not without wonderful blessings and benefits, of course), so for two people to make it over half their lives being married to the same person is a WONDERFUL thing that should be congratulated. So, hats off to you, Jay and Lori--I pray you can make it another 30! :)

Tentative plans...

We got the internet shut off at home, so I thought I'd give a quick update as to where I will be/what I will be doing until July. Also, as a result, I will only be able to check my email at work, so if I seem reluctant in response, that is why. Or I am camping in the wilderness in Montana. Both are favorites.

June 11-17: We will be leaving for Portland on Thursday, camping along the way, and hopefully arriving by Saturday night. I will be there until I fly back on Wednesday, the 17th.

June 18-21: Katesister is here, Mom is here, and Ben, Micaela, and myself will be driving a U-Haul over to my storage unit with all of my furniture in it. Again, hopefully. Also, I plan to be at Aunt Pam's by this weekend.

June 22-26: My last week of work!!! I will be commuting from Dayton.

June 26-29: I will be bumming it on the couches of Micaela and Katefriend and cleaning out 410.

June 30: SLEEPING. RELAXING. (Unpacking. Argh.)

Add an online class (which includes four exams), a birthday, apartment hunting, and a recent illness I have acquired, and it makes for a very interesting month, however exciting it can be.

As I said, this will all happen--hopefully. Things can always change!

Welcome, June

This week has been busy, but I have loved it (for the most part). On Monday, Linds and I went to dinner with my old college roommate, Molly, and her husband Pat, who was one of Lindsay's closest friend's in college. I don't get to see them often, but it is a blast when I do. Pat cooked a delicious meal for us--which he wrote about on his blog. Free publicity, Pat--just what you wanted ;)

The not so good part of June--yesterday at work, a Qwest truck on our block drilled into a water line and a sewer line. The two mixed and let's just say, it was not pretty. After our neighbor business sent someone in (yelling, "It's too much water! The flooding! The city says, it's too much!"), we went to the back office to find it was indeed, too much. Today, we still don't have a bathroom, or water service; just moldy carpet, moldy air, and lack of a breeze. I'm a happy camper! (Not so much.)

On a positive note--after work yesterday, I went to a picnic in the park with some very good friends, and it was wonderful. Bread, cheese, wine, and good friends--what more could a girl ask for?

Our dear friend Brittany is camping out at 410 with us for a week or so. I love when she stays with us. I am going to miss her very much when she leaves for Ukraine for four years!

So, that is June thus far. Nothing profound, nothing extraordinary, but wonderful nonetheless.

Off to Portland next week!

Peace,

J

Sigh...

A little over a week ago I packed up all of my books and now they are sitting in storage at my parent's house.

I miss them. I found myself wandering around the house one night last week, excited to sit and read out of my Tennyson book...only to realize it was gone.

Then, last night, I got up to grab a book I've been meaning to read, only to remember (once again) that it wasn't there. My bookshelf is standing, sad and alone, in the corner. Sigh. Soon we will be reunited. For now, I will make do with the traveling library I seem to have built in the backseat of my car.

June is going to go by so fast. Next week will be full of packing, socializing, and planning for our going-away/moving out party. Then, before I know it, I'll be on the road to Portland for about a week. Kate's coming into town shortly after that, there will be U-Hauls, packing, cleaning, and above all--A LAST DAY OF WORK.

That's right! I finally gave notice--I will officially be done as of 5 pm on June 26, 2009. Then I'm taking myself on a vacation, mentally at least. It feels good to be done.

I have been thinking through a lot of things lately, having my mind and heart poked and prodded by a good friend recently--which always stirs up discussion amongst myself about what I am doing in life. I found this part of Isaiah the night before I quit work, and it seems to be a pretty good motto for me to follow at this point in my life:

My friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off"; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

God can seem pretty chill. I think he's just watching and waiting for me to enjoy the ride. And perhaps smiling a little bit along the way.

PEACE.

Tidbits

Excellent news! It seems our work a month ago at the rescue has gotten the attention of those in the government! On Tuesday, legislation was introduced in Congress by Senators Feingold and Brownback titled "LRA Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act." If you'd like to get details, you can check out the article at Resolve Uganda.

Secondly, Newsweek released a long article discussing the war, but more specifically, Joseph Kony, who is the leader of the LRA. It expresses the more spiritual side of the war, which I think is very compelling.

In other news, I am definitely hoping that in grad school, I do not get yelled at on the phone and hung up on as frequently as I do here. Roll it off your back, J--at least I have this website so I know I am not alone.

Word of advice--do not ever take your anger/frustration out on the first person you can get ahold of at a company. Chances are, they have nothing to do with it. Let's be reasonable, folks!

I am very excited for the holiday weekend, needless to say!


Peace,

J

A little belated:

I meant to put this up on Saturday, but my weekend ran away from me. Still, better late than never!


May 16th was the birthday of two of my dearest friends, one of them being Amanda K. Lord. I just wanted to give her a quick note--she is busy in Kentucky interviewing for jobs, attending amazing Bible studies, nannying, and most importantly, a whole ton of gardening! Work that green thumb!

At any rate, I miss you up here, Amanda, and though I could not celebrate with you this weekend in person, I definitely did have a party with you in spirit. Just like how you are one with the wind:




Oh, and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

The next time I eat waffle fries, I will say, "this dip is for you!"


Love you,

J

Time keeps on ticking...

I have a little less than two months left here in my little home, and I'm really starting to realize it. I am beginning to think of how much I'm going to miss having so many great friends around. I am excited to start a new chapter, though. Until then, I want to take advantage of all the awesome souls around me.

Tonight, I got to hang out with a good friend from college, Kate, and her boyfriend, Josh--who has also become a great friend. They are one of my favorite couples to hang out with. Kate and I have lived a lot of college years together, so any time I am with her, I just smile.

This evening, we went to dinner (hurray for free appetizer coupons!), some light shopping at good old Target, and then ended the night with some good old fashioned dumpster diving in the rain--for large cardboard boxes.

I love these two!

The Rescue

Lindsay's handwritten letter to Barack Obama.

Ok, so this is a little late, but better late than never. I thought a few of you who had not seen the pictures on Facebook or who hadn't spoken to me in the last week might enjoy a little summary of what happened, or what exactly the Rescue was.

The point of the event was to march and camp in solidarity with those 3000+ still abducted child soldiers and wait until we were rescued, just as they are waiting to be rescued. Our "rescuers" had to come in two forms: the media, and a mogul. The mogul could be anyone of culture or political influence-such as a politician or celebrity-who would be capable of lending their voice and pledging to help bring an end to the war in Uganda. The media had it a little easier--they just had to cover the story.(Unfortunately, aside from Need Magazine, the Minnesota Daily, and the Star Tribune, the media GREATLY disappointed us. Let's just say, one of the primary reasons no one knows about this war is that the media does not cover it. In fact, the local news stations ditched our story in favor of covering the riots that U of M students threw in Dinkytown that same night, and then complained that the youth of America are entitled and not contributing to society. Needless to say, the fact that there were over 700 of those same youth a few miles over, sitting peacefully and taking some action against injustice in this world apparently does not matter in the eyes of the media. But that is another topic altogether.)

Everyone was instructed to meet at Rice Park in St. Paul, where we marched in single file to the capitol building, and set up camp. We had prayed all week that the weather would clear up, and it was PERFECT. While we waited to be rescued, every person wrote a letter to President Obama and Senator Amy Klobuchar, asking them for their attention to this clear-cut issue. Around 9 pm, a representative from Amy Klobuchar's office, Siad Ali, came and read a statement aloud to the crowd. The fact that she would send her director of African Affairs, who is himself from East Africa, spoke very loudly of her commitment to the issue. Later, as State Congress adjourned, six different representatives came out and spoke, encouraging us and affirming that our voices WERE being heard. I was very proud of Minnesota policy makers that night, especially since so many other cities in this country were having trouble getting acknowledged and "rescued."

After getting rescued, our Invisible Children roadies, and some other brave souls, took off for Chicago, not knowing that a six-day wait was in store for them, as well as a rescue by Oprah. The rest of us hunkered down for the night, and stayed until dawn. It rained a few times during the night, but we weren't really bothered by it--it was awesome to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves, and knowing we were surrounded by others who were there for the same reason was more than enough to assuage any annoyance at a few drops of rain.

Here are a few pictures of the night. Like I said, it was a blast! If you want to see more pictures from other cities (such as Edinburgh, which was rescued by actor Billy Boyd-"Pippin" from Lord of the Rings-and has AMAZING photos), you can check them out at www.invisiblechildren.com.

Tessa, Brandon, Erica, and Lindsay--Erica and Lindsay planned the entire St. Paul event. Rockstars!

Our roommates for the month of April, and Invisible Children Roadies--Tessa and Brandon--

with Linds and myself in front of the Capitol.

Micaela and Sonja came out to join the crowd. I love these girls!

Myself and Micaela, staying warm.

Nice Pure Lucas, Rachel (on her birthday!) and Ellen also came to join us.

A small shot of the very large crowd.

Tessa, Brandon, Amy Klobuchar representative Siad Ali, Erica, and Linds right after Siad read his statement.

OPRAH!

Ok, so normally, I take a huge stance against the media brand that is Oprah, and what she represents, and today I stand a little bit corrected. For whatever reasons, she has come to the rescue of our last brave holdout of people in Chicago! I cannot deny that being on her show creates POWERFUL press, and let's face it, that's what we were out there to get. I just cannot believe it!

So, tune in today at 4 pm on CBS, if you can, and continue to enjoy the live feed below! I know I have become slightly addicted.

Pictures and details to come in a post soon.

Peace!

Still going strong!

We were rescued, but there are still people out there waiting! Check out the website or watch the live feed above to learn more. Thanks!

April 25th is almost here!

By "last time," I meant, "wait one more."

I just wanted to explain what I'm going to be doing this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, approximately 1500 of us Minnesotans will be marching to the capitol in St. Paul to help raise awareness in order to bring an end to the use of child soldiers by the LRA in Northern Uganda. Linds and many others have worked tirelessly for the past month coordinating all of this. It is happening in 100 cities worldwide--of which St. Paul is ranked 13th for the amount of people coming. I am so excited to be a part of this.

The second big event in my life will be taking place next Saturday, May 2nd. I have volunteered for nearly two years for the Animal Humane Society and next week they are putting on their annual fundraiser called the Walk for Animals. It should be a blast! You can check out their website for more information, if you'd like to see what I'll be up to.

Grad school is slowly but surely coming together. I am signed up for a class this summer, but I'll probably have to go a little over my two year original plan, as there are a few extra classes I'll have to take because I am not a licensed teacher. Otherwise, it should be interesting, to say the least.

Have a great weekend! I'll be sure to let you know how the Rescue event turns out this weekend.

Peace!

Last time!

Go here and watch the video. It's about 30 minutes long, but if you can find the time, it's worth it.

If you can make it, come to the event on Saturday. Lindsay's planning it, so I'm plugging it. I'm not quite sure how it will turn out, but there will be well over a thousand people there in it with you.

If you can't come, learn more!

It's official!

I did officially make it into grad school. It was touch and go for a moment there, though. But once I saw that letterhead--well, it was wonderful! I also received a scholarship, and the award letter basically has given me two days to decide. Pressure! Oh well.

I got to go to my parents house this weekend for Easter. I spent time with my family, and some very good friends whom I hadn't seen in months and years, and we love to spend time together once or twice a year, and just refresh. I loved it.

We also had the roadies from Invisible Children staying with us for about five days, so our house was filled to the brim with people sleeping on makeshift beds such as this:


But it was so much fun to share lives with them, if only for a few days! These people have been traveling all over Middle America, showing videos, talking, and spreading the word about The Rescue. I just enjoyed getting to know everyone and hanging out here at home, it was quite relaxing, despite the hectic schedule.

Here's a few pictures of the weekend activities, including egg coloring, the annual burning of the dead Christmas tree, and of course, the ever popular Easter family photo.


Peace!

Good THURSDAY

Today is my sister Kate's birthday! She is literally MILLIONS of miles away living here:


and not here:


...so I'm sending this across the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!

All Quiet on the Midwestern Front

I have not heard much more regarding school in the past week, other than they are offering me a scholarship and that I should be expecting some type of letter in the coming days. I am trying to figure out a bunch of logistical things, including housing, summer classes, etc., but it becomes increasingly difficult when I don't have a springboard to jump from. Be patient, J! I'm also excited--I get to go to my parents' house this weekend! I'll get to relax, see family (including the not-so-little Fuzzwad) and just sit.

I was thinking last week about the past year, which has been very difficult for some of my closest friends, and in turn, hard for me to watch it be difficult, making it hard for me. I can read and re-read the passages in the Bible all I want about trials, sorrows, how God builds you up when you are down, etc. I listen to the endless number of sound-alike Christian songs hammering lyrics into my head such as "shelter from the storm" and the ever popular "sometimes he calms the storm, and other times he calms his child."

All of these things, due to my increased cynicism in the past year, seem so ridiculously trite. What does that all even mean? I've been asking myself that for awhile now. I know in my head that things won't always be rosy--I expect them, more often than not, to go downhill--but I really don't get why. I was contemplating over this one night, and a picture came to my mind. People seem to pray for hurtful and horrible things to end quickly, or for God to sustain others through tough times--what does that look like? What does that mean, on a practical, every day level? There's the popular metaphor of life being a huge rainstorm--and God gives you an umbrella. He doesn't necessarily stop the storm, just provides you shelter. Or, on a blisteringly sunny day (personally, this is worse to me than rain), he provides you shade.

You'll notice--he doesn't always send the rainclouds away. He doesn't eclipse the sun for you, either. .He gives you something to temporarily ease the harshness of the weather. I know that more often then not, I am standing under that umbrella, tapping my foot, scowling and groaning as the storm rages on around me. I am standing under that shady tree, glaring at the sun, wishing that I could move. I always feel trapped. Why can't the sun go under a cloud so I can have a moment's reprieve? Why can't the rain let up for five minutes so I can dash to my car? Why am I so impatient? Why can't I appreciate that I am relatively dry, or cool, or calm--protected for the most part? The point is, it may keep on raining. You may get the backlash of the drops as they come in sideways. You may step in puddles. The sun might glare off of something and hit you square in the eye.

All of these things are happening--nothing is perfect--but I realized that if we keep focusing on all of that, we lost sight of the umbrella. Or the tree. I get so focused on the storm, or the hot sun, that I can't appreciate anything else. I think then, that I am supposed to look up--and see what's above me.

I don't know if it makes much sense, but I think it's worth thinking about--at least worth checking what our focus is on in life. Are we too focused on what's immediately around us, complaining because it is yet another rainy 40 degree day in April? Are we too focused on that big snow storm that is around the corner? Are we still obsessing about that time back in '97 when all hell broke loose in the atmosphere (oh, the drama!)? Or are we sitting here patiently, under this tree that has stayed the same since before we can remember, content in whatever life blows our way?

I think that's something I'd like to strive for.

Is this a chain letter?

Ok, so I just interviewed on Friday, so imagine my surprise when I find an exuberantly purple-fonted (is that even a word?) email sitting in my inbox last night telling me that I am going to be admitted to the grad school of my choice! There really isn't much else to say yet, as I don't know any details.

Amanda did point out that I might get to wear a robe with a hood--this is a plus.

I also think you should check out Lindsay's blog--she has more information and further details about Invisible Children, including a screening here in the Minneapolis area that can give you more information on the whole situation in Uganda.

I'll hopefully be able to give more details about school soon--at the rate I'm going, I'm going to be homeless and jobless as of July, so I have that to look forward too! Luckily I have some great family who is willing to take me in temporarily (thank you Pam and Mark!).

Oh, to be twenty-something...it really is the life, isn't it?

An interview and more importantly, a cause...

A quick update--my interview for school on Friday was interesting, to say the least. There were about 30 potential candidates there, and they divided us into three smaller groups to be interviewed by a professor, a current graduate student in the program, and a professional from the field. For about two hours, we were asked questions as a group and we each gave our individual responses. I don't usually get nervous about these sorts of things, and I wasn't, so hopefully I didn't come across as not caring or indifferent. I don't have as much experience in the area of counseling or education as most of the other candidates, but I answered the questions honestly and hopefully that will come across.

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to talk about something that has taken the forefront in importance at our little home. Lindsay has been appointed, along with one other person, to head up a Minneapolis/St. Paul chapter of a global-wide event put on by the organization Invisible Children.




The organization was founded in order to bring awareness to the longest running war in Africa today, but more specifically, to encourage governmental action to bring an end to the use of child soldiers in that war. It was formed by three film students who traveled to the Sudan in 2003, and wound up in Northern Uganda as a woman informed them of the fact that thousands of children were marching into cities at night in order to escape being abducted and forced into an army formed by rebels against the Ugandan government.

These kids are being abducted at even the young age of 5 and brought into the jungle and forced to kill. The primary way to get this to stop is to bring attention to the issue--which is what the event is all about. If you go to the website (linked above), you can check out more information about the issue, as well as about the event--called The Rescue of Joseph Kony's Child Soldiers--that takes place on April 25 of this year. If you want more information about being a part of the event, or on volunteering and getting involved, you can check out the Facebook event site or email seekersofpeace@gmail.com and I can forward the questions on to someone who can answer them more thouroughly.

It's a great cause! I encourage you to check it out!

White Wednesday

As I said when I walked into work this morning, I'd really be ok if there wasn't snow on the ground when I went outside in the morning anymore. That's something I could really get on board with. Call me crazy, but there's something about the end of March that screams "SPRING, PLEASE" to me.

I have my interview for grad school on Friday morning. It's with faculty, school personnel, and graduate students in the program. I believe they are interviewing a few of us potential students at a time--the interview is scheduled to be an hour and a half long. I've been trying to prepare, but seeing as they are very vague as to what will exactly be happening in the interview, it's been hard for me to wrap my mind around it. I know why I want to do this--hopefully I'll be able to articulate that and act like the 23-year-old that I am. In any case, I've got my business suit all ready.

I have a problem asking for prayer--I never want to bother others with my mundane issues--but if you could pray for this interview, I would appreciate it. The other thing to pray for, if you keep it in mind, is work this week. I hate complaining about it, but it's just been a big struggle for me this week. I have lost all patience with our clients, and to be honest, with my co-workers. It's an environment that gets me so angry that I cry at least once a day (how embarrassing, I know, but it's actually true) and it's just not good for me. I want to appreciate it, and not dread going there, so I'm working on it. I took all of Friday off, so hopefully the break will do me some good.

That's all in my little life for now. Thanks for reading.

The Little Things

I've realized a few things in the past few days, so I thought I'd share them.

If I've learned anything in my 23 years of life, it's that God usually speaks to me in three different ways:

1. Through nature

Countless times when I have had big or small decisions, or just get wrapped up in the societal pressures of making the most of my time, I try to make it outside. There's just something about the physical world he has placed us in that make things clear to me. If I can feel the wind, and see the trees, and the little grubs and insects, and see everything for its parts, not the whole, I feel better. Not only that, but I feel God speaking to me. I have made many big life decisions this way--and they've worked out, so I've determined this is one way how God gets to me.

2. Through dreams or semi-consciousness

Maybe I'm crazy, but I can't deny that this happens to me. Most often in that little area between falling asleep and being asleep, things pop into my brain that I know are truth, and I make a mental note to remember it. Since I'm not a person who actually writes down my thoughts a lot, especially when I'm finally able to be falling asleep, I make a mental note of it, and if it's a truth God wants me to remember, it's always the first thing on my mind when I wake up. For instance, this post came to mind in that state last night.

However, every now and then God gracefully helps me along in dreams. A number of times I have had a dream about a person that lingers over my head, and I learned a long time ago to pray. I found out pretty quickly that when I was dreaming about such a person, he or she was actually in need of that prayer. It's pretty cool to me--sort of like dreams are God's way of putting into my head what I should be praying for. Sometimes, he even allows me to make little decisions in my sleep. The other night I was stressing over a relatively minor decision that would have no drastic consequences, and I just couldn't make up my mind. I woke up the next morning to find out that I had made the decision in a dream, with all the pros and cons considered. It was actually pretty funny. And I'm grateful for this.

3. Through other people

When I say this, I don't mean a stranger walking up to me and laying a hand on me and saying "God wanted me to tell you your purpose in this life." I know that such things happen, and I think it is so amazing that people can step out in faith like that to speak to another, or to be at the receiving end of a conversation. What usually happens to me, however, is that someone in my life already will say something, or do something, and without even knowing, share God's truth with me. It's happened countless times, and has come from the mouth of Christian friends sometimes, but more often then not it has come from those who even deny that God exists or is doing anything in this world at all (which is very ironic). It's pretty cool to have someone tell you what God wants you to hear without them realizing--and without some big dramatic scene.

As I was thinking about these three things last night, trying to connect them in my brain, I realized that the primary idea connecting them all for me was that they all often centered on the little things. Whether it be finding 20 minutes in a day to stare at a leaf, or taking 2 minutes in the morning to pray for a friend whom I just had a dream was running away from some crazy monster, or in seeing an email in my inbox from a dear friend who just wanted to brighten my day by sending a little love, God uses these things more in my life than others. If I briefly glance at my Bible for 20 seconds in the morning, there is always a gentle reminder.

Another example--last night, I was talking on the phone with a close friend from college whom I hadn't gotten to speak to in a while, and it turned out that both of us were dealing with a similar issue in our lives, and both of us also felt there was no one we could talk to about it. I laugh now thinking about it, because we had been just storing it all up inside ourselves, not talking to anybody about it, when we could have been talking to each other. But again, God used my friend to remind me that he is there, listening to those thoughts I don't speak out loud, and finding people in my life to reassure me that he is there (and I hope he did the same for her).

Of course, the little things aren't always nice things. Often a small sentence leaked from someone's mouth convicts me so greatly that I actually have to do something about it. And sometimes I choose to ignore the little things because they are pushing me in a direction I don't want to go. Either way, I've determined that I can't really deny that this is how it happens.

I realize that this is just about me, but it is cool for me to think about all the different ways that God speaks to people. I encourage you to look for that in your life--you could be pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised at what you find. The things is, once you know, you have to listen. :)

Happy Day Times Two

I inadvertently wore green today. Which works out, actually.



C'mon, we Irish! Celebrate.

And also, this day makes it easy for me to remember my Aunt Pam's birthday! Happy Birthday!




So now, I have given you two reasons to have a very good day. I will be working, then going to the humane society, and then going to listen to a band with friends--all around a good old time.

If I don't see you today, have a wonderful day! God is good--even when we refuse to acknowledge or believe it. Isn't that something?

Peace,

J

Blah-g

I was going to write a bunch of stuff, then I realized, it's just me complaining, and really, what good does that do. There's not much it will help, and besides, what do I really have to complain about? I'm more than well-fed, I'm warm every night, and I have a job.

So, in lieu of complaining, I am going to show you this picture and hope that I can meet everyone there in my imagination.


See you there!

I Have to Celebrate...

...because today is Friday the 13th! Woohoo!

Just kidding. What I really meant to say is that I have to celebrate because it's Lindsay's birthday! For those of you who don't know, she is one of my closest friends and my roommate as well. We met in our freshman year at college, didn't really take to each other right of the bat, but somehow. here we are.

Last year, around this time, Lindsay was living in Amsterdam, and had been there for over a year. When I think about it, it's pretty miraculous that we remained as close as we did while thousands of miles apart. In fact, I usually knew more about what was going on in her every day life than I did friends here in the states! I like to think that we had something to do with that, but when it comes down to it, it was probably all God. I think he figured we need each other.

This picture is from last March, around Easter, when I went to visit her for a week in Amsterdam. It was taken at the top of the library there--where you could get a beer at the cafe and read your books. What a wonderful place! I chose to post it because it reminds me of how despite being an ocean apart, and various other differences, we have still kept this friendship up with relative ease.




All this to say, Lindsay, I am so glad you are in my life. I hope this keeps up for years, and that I don't end up calling you out of the blue from my ranch in Big Sky asking you to make blueberry muffins for my children--I hope you already have.

xoxo

J

Developments

There really aren't many, but one little tidbit I recently found out is that I will hopefully be driving out to Portland with Lindsay in June. This is very exciting for me--I haven't taken any road trips west (excluding childhood hunting excursions to the far western reaches of North Dakota) so it should be a blast.

On a completely unrelated note, I was flipping through my Bible this morning, looking at all of the scraps and bits of paper I've stuffed in there over the years (yes, I am one of those people, I never actually underline or write in my Bible for some reason) and came across a post-it note entitled "What I Believe." Hmm, I thought to myself, I've always wondered this. Lucky I wrote it down on a small post-it note, just in case I was ever wondering. It's nice to have such things so concise and handy.

I don't remember when I wrote it, or why I wrote it. There were three verse references on it, so I decided to look them up and share them. I don't think they make sense all together, but apparently, this is "what I believe."

Mark 5:36

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe."

Mark 11:22-25

And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

Deuteronomy 4:29

But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

It's interesting to me to go through things I have written down over the years. I don't quite know what to make of it yet, but hey, it's what I believe.

Good News!

Well, it's a bright spot in my life, at least. I just found out I have an interview for grad school at my school of choice! I'm not sure if it means much, they could be interviewing all of the applicants, but I am still happy about it. Apparently I will be interviewed with a number of candidates by the counseling faculty, students, and school personnel--it's a little nerve racking to think about. And of course, I have no fashion sense, so I will be calling in the troops so I don't end up looking like this--



--which is what usually ends up happening any time I go out. Ahhhh, social politics! How will I ever master thee.

Hopefully, also, I will be able to articulate myself--I'm a little rusty at school, it's been two years!

In other news, we are having baked potato night tonight at our weekly gathering! I am very much looking forward to that. Tomorrow, I get to have dinner with a friend, and then see part of my family for the weekend.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

Ahh, weekends.

I spent the night last night with two dogs and two guinea pigs. It was quite the adventure.

I do love the weekends, though. On Saturday I got to help quite a few families find the perfect little kittens and dogs to bring home! It was so busy at the animal shelter, which was such a cool thing to see.

I also got into interesting conversations yesterday at church. I haven't quite figured out how to articulate everything that went through my head, but hopefully I'll be able to share it soon.

For now, it's time to welcome March and move on into another week. Bad attitudes, be gone!

Wow...

...this Friday is exceedingly boring and irritating, to be quite honest. Lately I feel like I can't write anything because it's boring, or dumb, or frankly, uninspiring. Linds and I have talked before about how people write on websites such as blogs or Facebook only to portray themselves a certain way--you know, "cool," or something.

Well today, I am not cool at all. I am cranky, tired, irritated, and completely fed up with my job. This happens a lot on Fridays, but today just seems worse for some reason. I started the day off at the doctor, and it went downhill from there to include a rude person helping me at the post office, all of the clients yelling (literally) at me over the phone, the mail never coming, etc. God forgive me for being ungrateful--I know this sounds awful, but sometimes I'd rather be unemployed than working here. I know, I know, I have a fairly good job during a really tough economic time, but I'm not going to deny that I'm in a "grass is greener on the other side" mood.

Hopefully this mood will turn itself around tonight. I have big plans to go to the gym and to do my laundry. Perhaps squeeze some supper in there. Ahhh, leftover soup.

Tomorrow I am headed to the gym again, and then to the Animal Humane Society, where I volunteer. Puppies and kittens ought to help!

Oh, and I did go to this movie this week--I recommend it to anyone who likes weird, Tim Burton movies.

Thanks for listening,

J

No, I do not love technology

Today, it is me against the computer. And then the Internet. And then technology. And then work. And then the American-born idea of a 9-5 work day, and along with it, the mentality that our work defines who we are.

But mostly it's just the computers. I might pull an Office Space soon.

Get me out of here!

The Great Outdoors

I had the privilege this weekend to take a day to drive up to Duluth/Superior and visit one of my oldest friends. He lives and works at a camp that is located on over 700 acres of pure wilderness, right on Lake Superior. Needless to say, it was wonderful for so many reasons! We got to catch up on the past few months of our lives, laugh, play games, and explore. Something about walking down a frozen river when all you can see before you is pure white snow that hasn't even been touched reminds me of how much bigger this world is than my small worries. It would seem God likes to remind us that the world doesn't revolve around us.

The best part of our day was on that walk on the river--at the end of which was a small beach on Lake Superior. I had never been there before in the winter, so I was surprised to see that against the beach, the water had frozen in multiple yards of enormous ice waves. Each wave acted like a cliff, and the ice from the lake was breaking up against the "cliffs" created hundreds of feet of piles of ice shards. The sound that this created was incredible. I know I'm not explaining it well, so here's a few photos:


It truly was a relaxing and fun-filled day--I am so grateful for every time I get to spend with him, and for every conversation we wind up having. Thanks, B! I love you.

A Buyer's Market

First:
A few weeks ago, Lindsay came home with a flier for a "Wise Woman" seminar on first-time home buying that she suggested we go to. I thought it was a good idea, because I do not understand a single thing about the housing market, mortgages, etc. So I put on my feminist shoes and marched my young single female self down to the coffee house where it was held.

Surprisingly, I was really interested! I learned a lot in an hour and a half. Apparently there are some great advantages this year to buying a home for the first time. If you want to know, you can ask--I'll try to explain it to you. I do know that I walked away knowing what exactly the phrase "a buyer's market" means. Perhaps that is a good thing.

Either way, I am now a certified "wise woman."

Second:
I am fully realizing my addiction to the television show LOST. I do not know why, but I think about it more than I should. If you are a fellow addict, go here and here for some funny and insightful recaps.

Not much else is occurring in my life...work is stressful, and I am still waiting to hear from schools. On to scholarship applications!

Thanks for listening.

J

Sing with me...

i hate the phone


From now on, I am blaming all of my work stress on the economy. It won't yell back at me.

(Somehow, I'm pretty sure this will not work out...it will still do whatever it wants.)

Who's with me?

Happy Day

Mom with her new globe!

I would just like to take a moment to wish my mother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Just like Benjamin Button, she is getting younger every single year.

So here's to you Lori, Mother, Moo: thanks for laughing with us all these years--and many more to come :)

Much love,

JB

P.S. Enjoy your Friday the 13th!

City Mouse, Country Mouse

**Disclaimer--This is a really long post! I hope you take the time to read it, but if you don't, it's completely understandable. Thanks!**



This is a topic that has been on my mind lately, and I'm not really sure why God keeps bringing me back to it. Or even if he is. I know I'm coming across as frustrated--because I am--so please don't take unnecessary offense to anything I say. I don't mean to offend.

I guess I'll start where this started for me. I went for a walk the other day, because some part of me was prompting me to go find a lake, or trees, or something. So I walked around for a while, listening to music, and then marched my way over to the small park and lake that is near my house. After running through deep snow to cross the park, I sat down to rest at a picnic table. I somehow managed, and I don't really know how, to maneuver myself so that I couldn't see cars, people, or houses. And at that moment, I felt so at peace. I felt like God was trying to get something through my thick skull, so I sat for a few more minutes, thinking "ahhh...here it comes...enlighten me."

Which of course, didn't happen. Life doesn't work like that.

So I got up, turned around, and looked at the muddy gray snow piles, at the cars, at the buildings, at the power lines, and immediately felt that peace disappearing, and frustration taking it's place. What was I so frustrated about?

I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing, naturally. I didn't really pray about it, I just figured I was having a bad day. I figured I was looking so hard for something to make sense to me; that I was being dramatic. Which I get told I am, often, so I was trying to not do that. This all lead to me lying in bed last night, in my second hour of trying to fall asleep, when it hit me: I felt guilty for feeling relief at not being surrounded by people. I felt guilty for not liking the city.

When I say city, I mean all of a city. I mean the downtown, urban, and suburban areas. Anything that includes massive amounts of buildings, people, houses, etc. Why would I feel guilty about this? Should I feel guilty about it?

Moving from a "middle of nowhere" town to a relatively bigger city, I encountered many wonderful people who have such a passion for the city. They are so inspired by the diversity, the movement, the opportunities. There's always something to do--and this excites them. As Christians, they have a passion for reaching everyone for Christ, and a city is the perfect way to do that. Having these people as close friends has certainly helped me to grow in so many ways.

But at the end of the day, I still couldn't shake the fact that I didn't feel that passion. I wanted to. I wanted to get excited about everything I could do on any given night. I wanted to feel called, pulled, toward anything urban, because it seems so much more eye-opening than living in a small town. But I don't. In all honesty, the city stifles me. I feel trapped, like I'm in a huge snow globe that I can't get out of. There is never night, and people are always moving, there is a lot of pressure to be constantly moving as well, and it makes me feel incredibly restless. The same reason city people hate how the suburbs are the "in-between" compromise, I do, too.

Instead, I find that I feel closer to God when I am actually living somewhere with less people--but still the chance for meaningful relationships. I feel like I am not as lost, and am more useful for his purposes. I get excited when I think about being in an area no one has ever seen. I think that the "country" often gets a bad rap, and people there are portrayed as judgmental and narrow-minded. I am also guilty of thinking that at times. But then I remember my family. Some of them are from a town of less than 100 people, truly in the middle of nowhere, and they are by far the least judgmental people I know. I have met many people who live in cities who are far less accepting of others.

I'm not trying to say that one or the other is right. I truly do love that most of my friends are so excited about living in cities. I just want to put out there, what I feel like is a minority opinion--I much prefer living in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

All in all, where God is telling you to be is between you and him. Don't let others around you influence who God created you to be. I believe that when God says to reach all people, he also means those who live in the far corners of small towns with no post offices. Sure, there are disadvantages--but pretending that living in a city excites you is not the answer. Bigger is not always better.

I'm still processing all this, and I know maybe it doesn't make sense, but I also know, I don't feel guilty anymore for being made to live differently than a lot of people I know. I'm sure I'll find plenty of other people who feel the same way I do. And I don't feel ashamed of where I come from, and I pray I wouldn't feel ashamed if God called me back there.

Besides, I miss the trees, and fresh air.

I'll leave you with a favorite quote by Henry David Thoreau:

I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

Work it!

Last week I went to the lab at my clinic for my usual quarterly blood drawing and testing (I'm a pro now!). Upon finding that my thyroid levels were up again (meaning simply that my brain is being lazy and not assigning my hormones to go anywhere), I got all motivated and did what I've been putting off for a month now--joined a gym.

Before you get skeptical, I used to belong to the Y just down the street. Amanda and I had a co-membership, which worked out well, but seeing that she moved, it just became too expensive so I joined Snap Fitness this time around. It's just easier to pay month to month, and considering I don't know where I will be in six months, it's a better fit for me. I've been so tired and hungry all the time, so let's hope this helps. If all goes well, I will be this in 3 weeks:






Are my expectations too high? I think not!

Ok, so maybe...........

Also, my grad school applications are officially complete! One deadline is the 15th of February, and the other is March 1st. Hopefully I will hear from them within the next month or two.

Lastly, does anyone have any good book recommendations? I am trying to compile a list for the library, and there seems to be a lack of "ohmygoshIhavetogetthisbookRIGHTNOW" feeling. If you have any suggestions, please drop a comment below here--I'd appreciate it!

Details, details. And the semi-interesting plight that is my life moves on...

My Work

A lot of the times, I don't think I have anything interesting to post, because frankly, I feel like my life is uninteresting. I wake up and work, come home, and usually hang out with the roommate and then crash.

Since work takes up the majority of my time, I thought I'd share this. At a travel service, I take calls from all sorts of interesting people, and most days, I usually get some bizarre question or comment such as "I want to ship a body" or "If I bring a few cans of soup with me, can I get the humanitarian discount?" or "I want to fly whenever. You pick a date."

This website is one a co-worker and I visit often, to help relieve our stress some days, but mostly just to find common allies of those who work in the service industry. The following is one I came across that gives you the gist of what I deal with on a daily basis...and is really funny as well. I don't know who took this call or where they work, but I feel their frustration. :)

Do Not Doubt the Credibility of the Map

Travel Agency | Alaska, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling **** Travel, this is ****, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Um, yes. You’re located in Alaska, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Is that near Hawaii?”

Me: “No, sir. Not at all.”

Customer: “Yeah, I wanna talk to a manager. This map shows y’all are right next to each other, and I wanna know why one’s so dang hot and the other’s so dang cold.”

Me: “Sir, you’re actually reading the insets on a map of the continental United States. Alaska and Hawaii are several thousand miles apart.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”