All Quiet on the Midwestern Front

I have not heard much more regarding school in the past week, other than they are offering me a scholarship and that I should be expecting some type of letter in the coming days. I am trying to figure out a bunch of logistical things, including housing, summer classes, etc., but it becomes increasingly difficult when I don't have a springboard to jump from. Be patient, J! I'm also excited--I get to go to my parents' house this weekend! I'll get to relax, see family (including the not-so-little Fuzzwad) and just sit.

I was thinking last week about the past year, which has been very difficult for some of my closest friends, and in turn, hard for me to watch it be difficult, making it hard for me. I can read and re-read the passages in the Bible all I want about trials, sorrows, how God builds you up when you are down, etc. I listen to the endless number of sound-alike Christian songs hammering lyrics into my head such as "shelter from the storm" and the ever popular "sometimes he calms the storm, and other times he calms his child."

All of these things, due to my increased cynicism in the past year, seem so ridiculously trite. What does that all even mean? I've been asking myself that for awhile now. I know in my head that things won't always be rosy--I expect them, more often than not, to go downhill--but I really don't get why. I was contemplating over this one night, and a picture came to my mind. People seem to pray for hurtful and horrible things to end quickly, or for God to sustain others through tough times--what does that look like? What does that mean, on a practical, every day level? There's the popular metaphor of life being a huge rainstorm--and God gives you an umbrella. He doesn't necessarily stop the storm, just provides you shelter. Or, on a blisteringly sunny day (personally, this is worse to me than rain), he provides you shade.

You'll notice--he doesn't always send the rainclouds away. He doesn't eclipse the sun for you, either. .He gives you something to temporarily ease the harshness of the weather. I know that more often then not, I am standing under that umbrella, tapping my foot, scowling and groaning as the storm rages on around me. I am standing under that shady tree, glaring at the sun, wishing that I could move. I always feel trapped. Why can't the sun go under a cloud so I can have a moment's reprieve? Why can't the rain let up for five minutes so I can dash to my car? Why am I so impatient? Why can't I appreciate that I am relatively dry, or cool, or calm--protected for the most part? The point is, it may keep on raining. You may get the backlash of the drops as they come in sideways. You may step in puddles. The sun might glare off of something and hit you square in the eye.

All of these things are happening--nothing is perfect--but I realized that if we keep focusing on all of that, we lost sight of the umbrella. Or the tree. I get so focused on the storm, or the hot sun, that I can't appreciate anything else. I think then, that I am supposed to look up--and see what's above me.

I don't know if it makes much sense, but I think it's worth thinking about--at least worth checking what our focus is on in life. Are we too focused on what's immediately around us, complaining because it is yet another rainy 40 degree day in April? Are we too focused on that big snow storm that is around the corner? Are we still obsessing about that time back in '97 when all hell broke loose in the atmosphere (oh, the drama!)? Or are we sitting here patiently, under this tree that has stayed the same since before we can remember, content in whatever life blows our way?

I think that's something I'd like to strive for.