Wow...

...this Friday is exceedingly boring and irritating, to be quite honest. Lately I feel like I can't write anything because it's boring, or dumb, or frankly, uninspiring. Linds and I have talked before about how people write on websites such as blogs or Facebook only to portray themselves a certain way--you know, "cool," or something.

Well today, I am not cool at all. I am cranky, tired, irritated, and completely fed up with my job. This happens a lot on Fridays, but today just seems worse for some reason. I started the day off at the doctor, and it went downhill from there to include a rude person helping me at the post office, all of the clients yelling (literally) at me over the phone, the mail never coming, etc. God forgive me for being ungrateful--I know this sounds awful, but sometimes I'd rather be unemployed than working here. I know, I know, I have a fairly good job during a really tough economic time, but I'm not going to deny that I'm in a "grass is greener on the other side" mood.

Hopefully this mood will turn itself around tonight. I have big plans to go to the gym and to do my laundry. Perhaps squeeze some supper in there. Ahhh, leftover soup.

Tomorrow I am headed to the gym again, and then to the Animal Humane Society, where I volunteer. Puppies and kittens ought to help!

Oh, and I did go to this movie this week--I recommend it to anyone who likes weird, Tim Burton movies.

Thanks for listening,

J

No, I do not love technology

Today, it is me against the computer. And then the Internet. And then technology. And then work. And then the American-born idea of a 9-5 work day, and along with it, the mentality that our work defines who we are.

But mostly it's just the computers. I might pull an Office Space soon.

Get me out of here!

The Great Outdoors

I had the privilege this weekend to take a day to drive up to Duluth/Superior and visit one of my oldest friends. He lives and works at a camp that is located on over 700 acres of pure wilderness, right on Lake Superior. Needless to say, it was wonderful for so many reasons! We got to catch up on the past few months of our lives, laugh, play games, and explore. Something about walking down a frozen river when all you can see before you is pure white snow that hasn't even been touched reminds me of how much bigger this world is than my small worries. It would seem God likes to remind us that the world doesn't revolve around us.

The best part of our day was on that walk on the river--at the end of which was a small beach on Lake Superior. I had never been there before in the winter, so I was surprised to see that against the beach, the water had frozen in multiple yards of enormous ice waves. Each wave acted like a cliff, and the ice from the lake was breaking up against the "cliffs" created hundreds of feet of piles of ice shards. The sound that this created was incredible. I know I'm not explaining it well, so here's a few photos:


It truly was a relaxing and fun-filled day--I am so grateful for every time I get to spend with him, and for every conversation we wind up having. Thanks, B! I love you.

A Buyer's Market

First:
A few weeks ago, Lindsay came home with a flier for a "Wise Woman" seminar on first-time home buying that she suggested we go to. I thought it was a good idea, because I do not understand a single thing about the housing market, mortgages, etc. So I put on my feminist shoes and marched my young single female self down to the coffee house where it was held.

Surprisingly, I was really interested! I learned a lot in an hour and a half. Apparently there are some great advantages this year to buying a home for the first time. If you want to know, you can ask--I'll try to explain it to you. I do know that I walked away knowing what exactly the phrase "a buyer's market" means. Perhaps that is a good thing.

Either way, I am now a certified "wise woman."

Second:
I am fully realizing my addiction to the television show LOST. I do not know why, but I think about it more than I should. If you are a fellow addict, go here and here for some funny and insightful recaps.

Not much else is occurring in my life...work is stressful, and I am still waiting to hear from schools. On to scholarship applications!

Thanks for listening.

J

Sing with me...

i hate the phone


From now on, I am blaming all of my work stress on the economy. It won't yell back at me.

(Somehow, I'm pretty sure this will not work out...it will still do whatever it wants.)

Who's with me?

Happy Day

Mom with her new globe!

I would just like to take a moment to wish my mother a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Just like Benjamin Button, she is getting younger every single year.

So here's to you Lori, Mother, Moo: thanks for laughing with us all these years--and many more to come :)

Much love,

JB

P.S. Enjoy your Friday the 13th!

City Mouse, Country Mouse

**Disclaimer--This is a really long post! I hope you take the time to read it, but if you don't, it's completely understandable. Thanks!**



This is a topic that has been on my mind lately, and I'm not really sure why God keeps bringing me back to it. Or even if he is. I know I'm coming across as frustrated--because I am--so please don't take unnecessary offense to anything I say. I don't mean to offend.

I guess I'll start where this started for me. I went for a walk the other day, because some part of me was prompting me to go find a lake, or trees, or something. So I walked around for a while, listening to music, and then marched my way over to the small park and lake that is near my house. After running through deep snow to cross the park, I sat down to rest at a picnic table. I somehow managed, and I don't really know how, to maneuver myself so that I couldn't see cars, people, or houses. And at that moment, I felt so at peace. I felt like God was trying to get something through my thick skull, so I sat for a few more minutes, thinking "ahhh...here it comes...enlighten me."

Which of course, didn't happen. Life doesn't work like that.

So I got up, turned around, and looked at the muddy gray snow piles, at the cars, at the buildings, at the power lines, and immediately felt that peace disappearing, and frustration taking it's place. What was I so frustrated about?

I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing, naturally. I didn't really pray about it, I just figured I was having a bad day. I figured I was looking so hard for something to make sense to me; that I was being dramatic. Which I get told I am, often, so I was trying to not do that. This all lead to me lying in bed last night, in my second hour of trying to fall asleep, when it hit me: I felt guilty for feeling relief at not being surrounded by people. I felt guilty for not liking the city.

When I say city, I mean all of a city. I mean the downtown, urban, and suburban areas. Anything that includes massive amounts of buildings, people, houses, etc. Why would I feel guilty about this? Should I feel guilty about it?

Moving from a "middle of nowhere" town to a relatively bigger city, I encountered many wonderful people who have such a passion for the city. They are so inspired by the diversity, the movement, the opportunities. There's always something to do--and this excites them. As Christians, they have a passion for reaching everyone for Christ, and a city is the perfect way to do that. Having these people as close friends has certainly helped me to grow in so many ways.

But at the end of the day, I still couldn't shake the fact that I didn't feel that passion. I wanted to. I wanted to get excited about everything I could do on any given night. I wanted to feel called, pulled, toward anything urban, because it seems so much more eye-opening than living in a small town. But I don't. In all honesty, the city stifles me. I feel trapped, like I'm in a huge snow globe that I can't get out of. There is never night, and people are always moving, there is a lot of pressure to be constantly moving as well, and it makes me feel incredibly restless. The same reason city people hate how the suburbs are the "in-between" compromise, I do, too.

Instead, I find that I feel closer to God when I am actually living somewhere with less people--but still the chance for meaningful relationships. I feel like I am not as lost, and am more useful for his purposes. I get excited when I think about being in an area no one has ever seen. I think that the "country" often gets a bad rap, and people there are portrayed as judgmental and narrow-minded. I am also guilty of thinking that at times. But then I remember my family. Some of them are from a town of less than 100 people, truly in the middle of nowhere, and they are by far the least judgmental people I know. I have met many people who live in cities who are far less accepting of others.

I'm not trying to say that one or the other is right. I truly do love that most of my friends are so excited about living in cities. I just want to put out there, what I feel like is a minority opinion--I much prefer living in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

All in all, where God is telling you to be is between you and him. Don't let others around you influence who God created you to be. I believe that when God says to reach all people, he also means those who live in the far corners of small towns with no post offices. Sure, there are disadvantages--but pretending that living in a city excites you is not the answer. Bigger is not always better.

I'm still processing all this, and I know maybe it doesn't make sense, but I also know, I don't feel guilty anymore for being made to live differently than a lot of people I know. I'm sure I'll find plenty of other people who feel the same way I do. And I don't feel ashamed of where I come from, and I pray I wouldn't feel ashamed if God called me back there.

Besides, I miss the trees, and fresh air.

I'll leave you with a favorite quote by Henry David Thoreau:

I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

Work it!

Last week I went to the lab at my clinic for my usual quarterly blood drawing and testing (I'm a pro now!). Upon finding that my thyroid levels were up again (meaning simply that my brain is being lazy and not assigning my hormones to go anywhere), I got all motivated and did what I've been putting off for a month now--joined a gym.

Before you get skeptical, I used to belong to the Y just down the street. Amanda and I had a co-membership, which worked out well, but seeing that she moved, it just became too expensive so I joined Snap Fitness this time around. It's just easier to pay month to month, and considering I don't know where I will be in six months, it's a better fit for me. I've been so tired and hungry all the time, so let's hope this helps. If all goes well, I will be this in 3 weeks:






Are my expectations too high? I think not!

Ok, so maybe...........

Also, my grad school applications are officially complete! One deadline is the 15th of February, and the other is March 1st. Hopefully I will hear from them within the next month or two.

Lastly, does anyone have any good book recommendations? I am trying to compile a list for the library, and there seems to be a lack of "ohmygoshIhavetogetthisbookRIGHTNOW" feeling. If you have any suggestions, please drop a comment below here--I'd appreciate it!

Details, details. And the semi-interesting plight that is my life moves on...

My Work

A lot of the times, I don't think I have anything interesting to post, because frankly, I feel like my life is uninteresting. I wake up and work, come home, and usually hang out with the roommate and then crash.

Since work takes up the majority of my time, I thought I'd share this. At a travel service, I take calls from all sorts of interesting people, and most days, I usually get some bizarre question or comment such as "I want to ship a body" or "If I bring a few cans of soup with me, can I get the humanitarian discount?" or "I want to fly whenever. You pick a date."

This website is one a co-worker and I visit often, to help relieve our stress some days, but mostly just to find common allies of those who work in the service industry. The following is one I came across that gives you the gist of what I deal with on a daily basis...and is really funny as well. I don't know who took this call or where they work, but I feel their frustration. :)

Do Not Doubt the Credibility of the Map

Travel Agency | Alaska, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling **** Travel, this is ****, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Um, yes. You’re located in Alaska, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Is that near Hawaii?”

Me: “No, sir. Not at all.”

Customer: “Yeah, I wanna talk to a manager. This map shows y’all are right next to each other, and I wanna know why one’s so dang hot and the other’s so dang cold.”

Me: “Sir, you’re actually reading the insets on a map of the continental United States. Alaska and Hawaii are several thousand miles apart.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”