Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Re-do

**Disclaimer** I am writing this, not knowing if anyone actually reads all this, but I do owe an apology. This site has not really lived up to what it should be, because I have not been. A lot has happened since it began, not an excuse, I know, yet I find it more difficult to write lately.

That being said, you will see some slight changes in posts. I still hope to have friends post now and again, but seeing as this was my project from the start, most will be based upon my experience. I also don't want to box myself in, so I'm hoping this blog can evolve as I go along, by God's will.


So here we go!

I recently read the book To End All Wars. My parents recommended it to me and gave me their copy to read. To preface this, I was somewhat reluctant, as my parents and I tend to have differing views when it comes to topics such as wars, politics, etc., and my mom told me it would "change the way I think." Whenever someone tells me how I will be affected, I tend to become determined to have a different reaction, just to prove that I can. Stubborn, I know.

At any rate, this book is excellent, and I highly recommend it. As I read books, I keep a notebook or a computer nearby and write down different quotes and thoughts that come to mind. The following is a short paragraph that the author wrote near the end of the book. For a short background, the book was written by Ernest Gordon, who was a Scottish soldier captured by the Japanese in World War II. The book was also one of the sources for the movie "Bridge Over the River Kwai."

We did not know the full answer to the mystery of suffering, but we could see that so much of it was caused by "man's inhumanity to man", by selfishness, by greed, and by all the forces of death that we readily support in the normal course of life. The cry of the innocent child, the agony I had seen in the eyes of a Chinese mother as she carried her dead baby, the suffering caused by earthquakes, fires or floods, we could not explain. But we could see that God was not indifferent to such pain.

I was sitting at work today, looking over some of these past quotes I had marked, and came across this one, and felt compelled to post it. I remember reading this and thinking that Gordon got to the truth of the matter. While I in no way have gone through any pain or suffering remotely near what those soldiers did, I still am one who wonders about the suffering I see in this world. So many of us get hung up on it all--wondering how God could let it happen, how can we theologically explain it, how do we answer for it to unbelievers, etc.--but we miss out on the point--God is not indifferent to the pain, whatever its cause. I cannot stress how important this is!

I guess I am at a point in my life where I can see more pain around me than joy or blessings--but I must remember that God recognizes this and has equipped me to be able to cope. I am reminded of a quote by C. S. Lewis:

Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

I'm sure many of you can testify to this. I pray we do not drown out his shouts!


With hope, and peace

J

Friday, October 3, 2008

Side Note


For you, my elder brother, on your birthday:

Strong Son of God, immortal Love,
Whom we, that have not seen thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;

Thine are these orbs of light and shade;
Thou madest Life in man an brute;
Thou madest Death; and lo, thy foot
Is on the skull which thou hast made.

Thou wilt not leave us in the dust:
Thou madest man, he knows not why,
He thinks he was not made to die;
And thou has made him: thou art just

Thou seemest human and divine,
The highest, holiest manhood, thou
Our wills are ours, we know not how;
Our wills are ours, to make them thine.

Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be;
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, art more than they.

We have but faith: we cannot know,
For knowledge is of things we see;
And yet we trust it comes from thee,
A beam in darkness: let it grow.

Let knowledge grow from more to more,
But more of reverence in us dwell;
That mind and soul, according well,
May make one music as before,

But vaster. We are fools and slight;
We mock thee when we do not fear:
But help thy foolish ones to bear;
Help thy vain worlds to bear they light.

Forgive what seem'd my sin in me,
What seem'd my worth since I began;
For merit lives from man to man,
And not from man, O Lord, to thee.

Forgive my grief for one removed,
They creature, whom I found so fair.
I trust he lives in thee, and there
I find him worthier to be loved.

Forgive these wild and wandering cries,
Confusions of a wasted youth;
Forgive them where they fail in truth,
And in thy wisdom make me wise.

--Alfred Lord Tennyson


I love and miss you.


With hope,

J

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Cost of Cynicism

This post comes out of my own conviction today.

There are a lot of followers of Jesus today who have fallen into a trend of being Christian cynics. Those who do this, myself included, find something to criticize about every single Christian we come across. We constantly pick out what is wrong with believers around the world.

I believe that this is happening not because we are hateful, but because we are taking too far the desire to self-evaluate, as well as to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ to reassess their motives, values, and intentions in their walk with God. The problem, however, lies in the fact that there is no perfect human. The more we focus on the negative in others, and in ourselves, the more disappointed and cynical we become. Then the arguing begins. Friends and family turn on each other, and label it "tough love."

There is a time when tough love has its place--I believe that if we are walking with God, we will know when he desires us to rebuke a fellow believer out of love. However, I do not believe that God is glorified or happy when we walk around in a constant state of pessimism and skepticism about other believers, let alone those are not yet saved. God calls us to a hope, found in him through Christ, and whenever we fail to hope in him, and fail to hope that he is working in others, just as we know he is working in us, we are creating more harm then good. The point is, we cannot possibly know how God is working in the hearts of others-and we have no place assuming that he is not. God is a God of all possibilities, and to act in a constant state of cynicism, I believe, is not what he desires for us.

In Paul's letter to Titus, he gives us good practical instructions for living every day:

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of the eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

(3:1-11)


Why is it that we seem to be able to have more grace toward those who do not follow God, and forget to have grace against our fellow believers? Perhaps they know better, yes, but knowledge does not mean a person is less deserving of God's grace. I pray that we can continue to guard our tongues, and our minds from pessimism--because such thoughts will be acted out in our actions.

And what, then, is the cost?

Monday, August 25, 2008

A Prayer


Our soul waits for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
even as we hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22


Monday, August 18, 2008

Joy Through a Broken Heart


For the first time in my life, I truly believe I am in communion with God. Understand, I am eternally grateful for this, this relationship he has given me and allowed to grow and evolve as I do, from a child, to an adolescent, to a so-called "adult." I am not spiritually superior because of this, I am merely a daughter communing with my Lord, and I cannot begin to express the joy that comes with it.

In church recently, my pastor reminded us that we are to be broken before God--but this does not necessarily mean that we are unhappy! I have come before God with a broken heart that is not my own--it is broken for the hurts of my closest and dearest friends. My only thought today is, if this is the amount of joy that comes from a once-removed broken heart, when my own trials come, I cannot imagine the intensity of the joy that will follow. Praise him! I cannot even begin to use words to describe this feeling, this speaking to God and knowing without a doubt that he answers. It is like breathing. He is the way, the truth, and the life. My oxygen. I am utterly dependent. He sent from on high, he took me, he drew me out of many waters (2 Sam. 22:17)

So today, I am reading the Old Testament. It is most precious to me, because to me, there is no question as to who is in charge.

A portion of David's song of deliverance, found in 2 Samuel 22:28-32

You save a humble people, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them down. For you are my lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God--his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God?


My God, my God, my God! He is everything. His way is perfect, his word proves true---what more do we need to trust? If we put all of our trust in other humans, we will be disappointed, just as those who put trust in me will be disappointed--but what is our imperfection but a way to reveal his perfection? If we could do this on our own, if we could handle situations the way they ought to be, what need would there be for our Lord? To me, disappointment is proof that he exists. Every hit we take, it is further proof that he is perfect and whole. This does not mean that we expect to be disappointed, that we do not trust, but merely that we remember when we are let down, there is Jesus there, who will not ever let us down. It is complex, it is not easy, and it most certainly does not have a practical step by step program that we can wake up and implement into our lives. To be short, it is life!

Remember--

If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he will also deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful--

for he cannot deny himself.

(2 Timothy 2:11b-13)


With hope,

J


Wednesday, July 23, 2008


An unintended hiatus! It seems that it is difficult to pinpoint an exact thought or idea that we are learning, as every day brings with it new challenges and insights. I pray you are all well, and learning every day, as we are. For now, I will leave you with a thought that God has been communicating to me, though my own stubbornness fails to let it soak in completely. But God is good--he gives us his word during trials in his life to sustain and uplift us.

Isaiah 55:6-9

Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Even as you go about your day, planning for the present and future, contemplating the past, keep in mind that it is not you in control, but the Lord.

Peace

J

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

These Colours Don't Run

As we near the Fourth of July here in the States, I thought it fitting to discuss patriotism. I actually wrote these thoughts a while back in an email, and nothing has really changed in terms of how I feel, so I decided to post on it.

What sparked this was an email L had sent me, asking me what I thought of patriotism, in particular the fact that people from the U.S. tend to enjoy sticking the American flag on everything from bumper stickers to coffee mugs to beach towels, when few other countries do the same with their own flag. As I said this was written as an email awhile ago, so forgive me if the flow of thoughts doesn't always make sense.

First of all, it's hard to define what is meant by patriotism--it is usually defined as being completely devoted and loyal to one's country. American patriotism seems to be inexplicably tied to democracy, which I suppose makes sense, considering we are a democratic country. We are told to be proud of our country, be proud of our form of government--though it is quite obviously imperfect, but we are to behold it like we would an imperfect child, mistakes and all--and to be unashamed to the point where it is generally believed that bringing democracy to another country, any other country, will undoubtedly resolve conflict. What Americans most commonly fail to remember is that each country has its own past. I am not trying to appear enlightened here, for I think that people from every place tend to be egocentric, like young children who do not see outside themselves. It is a result of a fallen world--people fail to look outside their own perspectives.

It's important to remember that each country has its own past, starting with our own. For instance, the U.S. was founded on principles of rebellion and those ideals played a large part in the decision of what type of government the new country would have. Our founders were adamantly against others deciding their future--some would say rightly so. As a result, it was decided that a democratic republic would be the best form for what was desired by the citizens of the U.S. at the time. Somehow, centuries later, we have decided that it is our responsibility to give the same options to everyone else. But it is necessary, at this point, to recognize that certain countries, specifically, have a very different foundation and history than our own. Before even beginning to suggest that those governments change, that history needs to be considered.

Let me be clear--I am not saying that those governments are any better--clearly there is something wrong with one human being deciding he has the authority over others for various reasons (ethnicity, gender, etc.) and then abusing that authority to grotesque measures--but is there any difference in a group of humans determining the course of millions of others simply because they are deemed most popular? I would probably be accused of not caring, of not being compassionate if I were to suggest such a thing--after all, the U.S. is only trying to help. And I do recognize the compassion that our country generally has toward some other countries, though when you walk down the street of a city in the U.S., or talk to someone who is vehemently patriotic, it is often sadly apparent that compassion is lacking on a less grand scale. In terms of our government, the constant change brought by democracy is not necessarily more stable or helpful.

I do suppose it is true that Americans tend to slap that flag on any and every thing, and many become defensive if one suggests that we are not doing the right thing at the moment. It is obvious to some that being blindly patriotic (meaning, one who doesn't question why he is patriotic, or thinking for himself) is ignorant, because God has graciously allowed some to see glimpses of the world as he does. So much more obnoxious it is then when someone claiming to be a Christian is blindly patriotic. And you'll often find, these types of people are the first to lack compassion for those outside our borders, when the very country they live in has many times in the past been compassionate to those very people (though obviously, I will note, we have also been completely selfish as a nation, as well).

One part of patriotism in America that I have always thought of is the song "God Bless America." First of all, the phrase simply seems like a command, and I have a problem with anyone telling God who or what he can bless. Furthermore, this phrase embodies the attitude in America that I hate the most--entitlement. The idea that the U.S. is somehow higher up in God's list, and thus we are more entitled to his blessings, is something I could speak endlessly on. But also, the phrase also seems to symbolizes the term "Christian Nation," a term which gets under my skin. If you define "Christian" as you ought (as in, one who has entered into the kingdom of God by way of a personal relationship with our savior, Jesus), it obviously cannot apply to a nation, because a nation in and of itself cannot be "a Christian," especially when there are 300 million people pulling in different directions, and many of those would be appalled at that descriptor. I believe that God views our nation no differently than any other, and holds no favoritism. And besides this, God is a personal God, not one who deals with his children through governments and nations. That's the beauty of it all.

Another song that is popular around this time of year is "Proud to be an American." The portion of this song that sticks out to me is the phrase "where at least I know I'm free." Again, this just does not sit well with me. We take the relative freedom God has graciously given us in this country and lord it over others, which is not something I think he'd want us to do. We should be using this freedom to glorify him, and to work to bring others into the kingdom.

But even more so, the phrase made me wonder, what does it mean to be free? What is freedom? According to the context of the song, and what we are told in our schools and lives, is that we are free to do as we want. From a biblical standpoint, is that really freedom? What are we knowing that we are free from? Authority? And our Christian brothers and sisters tell us to be grateful that we are free to meet without persecution or fear of dying, but if we are only grateful to not have death as imminent as others may find it, are we not still sinfully holding onto a fear of death and loss of material possessions? I see this as what is most unsettling about Christian American patriotism: If our identity is in Christ, are we not free no matter where we are? It seems that those who follow Christ in the supposed "persecuted" and "oppressive" countries have far more freedom than I do. Freedom from fear, from hypocrisy, from many things. They seem to have a much easier time placing their identity in Christ than I do here in the U.S., with perhaps too much freedom to do what I want.

However, it is entirely true that God has given us many things in the U.S. that we should be grateful for. We will most likely, Lord willing, live longer, without fear of being tortured. We have been able to see children and grandchildren grow. We can sit in a cafe and discuss theology at any moment. I am proud of this country, for doing what it has done. It has pulled itself up by its proverbial bootstraps in a manner of 200 years and become one of the most powerful and influential nations in the world. It inspires all of us to not limit ourselves, or the possibilities--a good thing to remember, as a Christian, that through Christ, all things are possible. But we must not forget that no matter what country we happen to be born into, if we are called by God to be his child, our identity should not be found in that country where he put us--our identity, our loyalty, our allegiance, should be pledged above all to Christ.

As we celebrate the Fourth of July this year, I pray that we would all remember to be thankful to God for giving us life--no matter which country, town, house, family we were born into. I pray that we would remember to keep all people in our prayers (including leaders of our respective countries), that they might turn away from the world and toward God--as the apostle Paul reminds us:

1 Timothy 2:1-6

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.



Blessings,

J