Late Night Musings

There's a reason people keep dream journals. I hear that usually, the best ideas come to people in that state between sleeping and waking. Since it takes me between a half an hour and an hour to fall asleep at night, I spend a lot of time in the "falling asleep" mode, where my brain is slowly shutting down, but in actuality, it is cranking out more ideas than I could think possible.

All this to say, I had a picture come to my mind last night, and I thought I'd share it.

I was thinking of the tendency some people have to be so introverted that they don't see a need to share themselves with those around them, and once that decision is made, it becomes a very careful balancing act. Once someone has set a precedent for him or herself to not be open, that person is viewed a certain way by his or her close friends, and it seems hard to backpedal and become someone who shares once one is viewed as an introvert. If that person spoke out then, it would upset the balance created in the circle of friends.

Let me draw a picture for you. If you can, recall one of those sets where someone sets up a giant domino display, carefully arranging each piece while trying not to knock any over. It's a very delicate, time consuming, careful task. Being an introvert, it seems to me, is like standing in the very middle, surrounded by a circle of five or six friends (or pieces, for this analogy), and knowing that if you make the wrong move, if you breathe wrong, you knock over the piece close to you, and it all goes tumbling down. So to prevent such things from happening, the introvert withdraws, and makes each move with much calculation so as not to upset the balance.

But then it occurred to me--what happens when one of those domino pieces is knocked over? One of two things. First, it very well could wreak havoc on the whole domino picture. One miscalculation, and the entire thing could be ruined, and it will have to be started over.

Or, one move and it could start a chain reaction. Move one domino, and the next falls, and the next, and then the next, etc. Such chain reactions are usually carefully set up to create a wonderful or fun design (like this one).

I remember once a close friend a few years ago told me about a conversation she had with her mother, where she remembered her mother reminding her that "vulnerability begets vulnerability." I think it's true. Just like with the dominoes, being vulnerable with someone allows them to be graciously vulnerable with you, and then with another person, and another, etc. It can create an environment with no hostility, and draw people closer together.

So the next time you are thinking of the risk of making a false move, think not only that you could destroy the balance around you, but that destroying it could possibly be a good thing.